The Ultimate "We're Selling Everything But Our Dignity" Garage Sale

THE ULTIMATE "WE'RE SELLING EVERYTHING BUT OUR DIGNITY" GARAGE SALE

When: Sunday, January 19th, 7AM - Until 1PM

Where: 4668 Finland Ave, north port, fl,34288

What to Expect:
Treasures so amazing, you'll wonder why we're selling them

Prices so low, you'll think we've lost our marbles

Items so random, even we don't know how we accumulated them

aka the dancing support pole (only one person noticed it was for sale today disappointed in you all )
Condition (Gently Used)

Rain or Shine Guarantee:
If it rains, our junk gets a free wash
If it's sunny, our junk gets a glamour shot
Either way, YOU get incredible deals!

Highlights Include:
That exercise equipment we used ONCE
Clothes that "might fit again someday"
Kitchen gadgets purchased during a 2 AM infomercial binge
Vintage (read: old) decorations our mother-in-law gave us
Mysterious electronics with unknown origins

Pricing Strategy:
Everything must go

Negotiation is an art form we've mastered
Cash preferred, but we'll accept sympathy and good jokes

Pro Tip:
Bring coffee, a sense of humor, and low expectations.

🚨 WARNING: Impulse purchases guaranteed! 🚨
See you there

P.S. to the guy needing that power cord for the hand held vacume, your in luck it runs off pure love. KIDDING see you tomorrow.